The True Life Adventures of Fuzzbucket

Losing My Fur

2009-04-30T04:50:23Z

Ok, I know it's spring. I know that I'm shedding. But if the older child is in the other room watching Piglet's Big Movie and I'm taking advantage of the opportunity to sit on daisy_knotwise's lap while she's sitting on the couch and to get some much deserved attention, this does not mean that the younger child is supposed to walk up and pull out loose hair in clumps! I ended up on Gretchen's shoulder and the baby was still grabbing at my tail.

What's a self-respecting cat supposed to do? You can't bite them...

Abuse

2009-02-13T00:21:48Z

First, the one that runs around and chases me dumps my food into my water dish. Multiple times. Then she dumps my food into the toilet. Then she dumps formula powder into my water dish. The only good news is that the big loud one of my people yelled at her for that and she hasn't done it since.

So last night, the smaller big one of my people let me out, which was good, because the white stuff was finally off the ground. But did she remember to let me back in?

Nooooooooooo!

I got to spend all night outside in the wind! Do you know how much I hate it when the wind goes whistling through my fur?

Grumble.

The big loud one finally let me in this morning on his way to work.

About time.

I'm Just Sayin'

2008-08-11T14:29:23Z

Can't a guy have a night out now and then without it being a federal case?
The weather is lovely. What's wrong with a camp out?
Of course, since they didn't notice that I was gone 'till the second night I didn't show up at bedtime... Well they deserve the scare.
And the guilt is getting me lots of nice scritches.
Wake me when it's suppertime.

No Justice

2008-01-11T03:09:03Z

daisy_knotwise is gone. The baby is gone. (Phew! Safe at last!)

So does billroper pet me? Sweet, adorable me?

No! He pets that damned guitar.

Grumble.

Haiku for Bichons

2007-08-13T04:24:59Z

White devils invade.
I lurk behind the new gate.
I will yet prevail.

Doin' my job

2007-06-23T05:24:12Z

The old cat is gone
My people are sad from loss
I sit with them, purr

Unimpressed

2007-04-25T15:54:42Z

Haiku² for fuzzbucket_cat
want to fight some how i don't know what she was thinking opening
@

Created by Grahame

I may be a cat
But the haiku that I write
Are better than that

Yet Another Feline Haiku

2007-03-30T03:53:39Z

Yes, I am a cat.
Got a problem with that, Bub?
No haiku for you!

Thanks Loads!

2007-03-18T01:52:08Z

I ask for pictures and what do I get? This! You'd think he'd at least let me know that he was going to take the picture, but nooo!. Just snap, snap, snap.

How's a cat supposed to look his best anyway?

Feline Abuse

2007-02-15T22:37:35Z

I'm being abused.

First, daisy_knotwise vanished with the small human, but billroper brought catalana here and she rubbed my head, so that was ok.

But then they all left and they closed the door to my bedroom so that I couldn't sleep on the bed, or on the bed in catalana's room. I had to sleep in the crib! I blame Bilbo. I remember there was a lot of fussing about the bed when they came back from their last convention and something about bleeding all over the comforter. And he's the only one running around bleeding on everything.

Then billroper came back and threw Bilbo into the bathroom and opened the door to my bedroom again. And he scratched my head, which was a good thing. And the next day, daisy_knotwise came back with the small human and things were back to normal.

Except that it snowed! There's a foot of white stuff drifted outside the back door. Where's a self-respecting cat supposed to go?

Cat Haiku for December

2006-12-03T20:21:02Z

Evil frozen White
I want that other doorway
The one to summer.

Let's Fight!

2006-11-29T04:57:18Z

Combat cards? Sounds better than fighting the possum...

COMBAT CARDS 2.1

watch fuzzbucket_cat fight

CREATE YOUR CARD

Big Bird!

2006-11-24T04:59:34Z

daisy_knotwise cooked the biggest chickadee I've ever seen for dinner! It was huge! And she gave me bits of it! (She gave bits of it to the other cat too, but that's not so important.)

All I want to know is who were they calling a turkey?

I'm Confused

2006-11-23T22:54:37Z

First, they run off for days. Then, they come home with this little noisy thing in tow. I'm not sure I approve.

But she has hands, so maybe she'll figure out how to pet me properly as she gets older. You've got to get them early to train them properly, you know.

Cat Haiku for November

2006-11-15T00:20:12Z

Dark comes early now
A 'possum looks through the glass
I don't want to fight

Some how I don't think this is as funny as the humans do

2006-10-04T19:32:04Z

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
fuzzbucket_cat goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as a dog.
alymid gives you 18 light yellow root beer-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
billroper gives you 1 light orange cherry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
catalana gives you 5 milky white strawberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
daddy_guido gives you 14 brown licorice-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.
jennlk tricks you! You get a wet rag.
lverhulst gives you 14 orange pineapple-flavoured pieces of taffy.
oreouk gives you 6 dark green coconut-flavoured gummy worms.
scs_11 tricks you! You get a rock.
shsilver gives you 19 dark blue mint-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.
singlemaltsilk tricks you! You lose 31 pieces of candy!
fuzzbucket_cat ends up with 46 pieces of candy, a wet rag, and a rock.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

Free, free at last!

2006-09-27T18:15:49Z

daisy_knotwise took me to the vet again today. At least it was Dr. Tom and not the evil blond lady. I got my shots and the stitches removed.
I NO LONGER HAVE TO WEAR THAT *%&^&&#))@%& COLLAR!!!

I don't have to have a pill jammed down my throat every night any more, either. I do have to have some ointment on the scar twice a day for a couple of days. But I think I can deal with that.

I also got wet! daisy_knotwise threw me in a tub of water just because I expressed my understandable anxiety about being in the cat carrier.
I'm under the bed drying off. Maybe I'll forgive her.

Growl

2006-09-11T19:32:15Z

How am I supposed to type with this frickin' collar on? It's not like they teach cats how to touch type. And the damned thing keeps bumping into the screen on the laptop.

Help!

2006-09-10T20:28:44Z

Help! They're taking me to the vet! I'm not that sick! I'm not sick at all! That swollen bleeding lump on my face under my right eye doesn't exist. It's a mirage. Just a mirage.

Yowl!

Contrary to previous reports...

2006-09-04T05:15:15Z

I did NOT "do a bad thing" on tarkrai's bed.
That was a hairball.
And a fine one too.
So there.

Beep!

2006-09-04T03:35:49Z

First, they go away and leave me here by myself (the other cat sleeps all the time and doesn't play, so he hardly counts) for two weeks. The strange woman keeps showing up and opening more cans of stinky fish every day, but I don't trust her. Sometimes she's brought this little kid who doesn't know how to treat a cat like me, so I just stay upstairs under the bed until she leaves.

Yesterday, something in the basement starting beeping. It was really loud and annoying and wouldn't stop.

Then my people came home and it kept on beeping. billroper let me out and let me tell you, I was reluctant to come back in with that damned beeping going on. But daisy_knotwise had some really good catnip and knows where to scratch and there was really too much dew on the grass for me to want to stay outside. And did I mention it was really good catnip?

The beeping stopped eventually. And there's been a suitable amount of petting going on.

I may forgive them.

I'm Offended

2006-08-07T02:07:42Z

catalana had the other cat in her lap this morning. That's just not right. Just because he starts hemorrhaging blood from his bad ear to get attention, doesn't mean that he gets to sit in her lap, even if she is holding a paper towel (or three or four) against his ear.

I mean, he even got blood on billroper's 12-string guitar.

Fortunately, it cleaned up well.

After all, things are better with my fur on them, not his blood.

They're Home!

2006-07-31T00:49:29Z

My people are back! And they brought catalana back and I'm lying on the couch being petted by her.

This is much better.

And I think I heard them say "pizza"...

This Is Bad

2006-07-11T17:29:31Z

Things are very bad. Not only is the Evil Cleaning Woman here, but there are strange people pounding on things in the bathroom upstairs. I could hide under the bed in the yellow bedroom, but it's the wrong bed! Someone moved all the furniture around! When did this happen?

At least the flash boom from outside has finally stopped. Mostly.

This Is Still Not a Dog

2006-06-13T03:52:12Z

The little white pseudo-dog is back and he's brought his people with him. They've taken catalana's bedroom.

This is bad. I must plot my revenge.